My heart hurts. still.. every single day. The tears fall, but your not hear to give me a hankie. This man gave me kindness, a hug, a love differnt then any other. HE Loved AS did i, But Not as Mates, AS MATES. He is and always will be my best friend. My soul partner, My reason for existing still; Tyler. God, how i miss your heart. your warmth, your acceptance in everything Tragic. Solemn in the darkest of nights, But filled the darkness with his light, every place he goes. Heaven has gained the kindest, Strongest, LARGEST HEARTED soul, that it ever could. His grace, saved my life, and I Bury the guilt of not being there when he passed. But it was him the reason i was gone. He Helped me Make the hardest move in my existence, to recovery. If only i knew then what i know now, i would have asssured he got the help i recieved, rather the opposite. He taught me how to love without expectations. How to grieve, without collapse. and how to Accept the love that was being given. WIth open doors, and the strongest of hands. He worked to hard, Partied less. And overcame lifes hardest of hardships. With open mind and Ears that, even though heed never admit it, WERE STARING TO FAIL HIM> But would still listen every single time i spoke. with the purest of perspective. Not many people accepted, or better yet UNDERSTOOD our friendship. As Outsiders looking in saw an older man and a younger girl. Two broken Souls, united Not for SIN FOR GRACE> Ive never felt safer with any other human. then i did along side him. if i could put it all in words and write a novel of our story, it would capture and swell the hearts of all those willing to read, or listen. Just as he did for me on a daily basis. 3 years. Felt like my entire existence. From the single first day we met. to the day before he left, I was by his side, His opposite that magnetically couldn't be torn apart. He had a lot to heal from. He had alot to still do. things that now will never be done. because only he had the capability of building them. Polar pops, Slurpees, and longboard rides. we rode side by side, not once did we penetrate even the slightest of touch. Yet we held hands and never lost pace getting to wherever we had to go. My bestest friend, my Protector, My LION. you were My soul mate i never knew i needed. my faith, my light, shines in debt of his every molecule, If not for him, id still have been lost, never found, and abandoned on some of the coldest nights. Rather He Made sure, i was warm, fed, and safe. No matter the consequence to his own.. I love you unconditionally Ty Bear. I will keep our time we shared in a vault, locked in your forever beating heart i hear in my sleep. The ROAR of his laughter, as if i was the highest paid comedian. The grace of a warm meal, shared with family and friends. "every Belly should be as full as his" as he would say. dollar signs were pennies, shipwrecks were treasures, adventures awaiting for other poeple to retire. He would say that its not the tornado that creates the disaster. but the beauty it brings by its own unique chaos. I was HIS beautiful Disaster. at My weakest, he held me up, if i fell, hed offer his already tired hand, to any and all, not just I; he was a Yes man, always Taken for granted, yet so serene in the midst of the deed that would be done. and that was always enough "you will never be to small, as ill never be too big" his words still sound the same in my head, yet i listen to the voice mails just so i never forget, the softness of his lisp that you'd only notice if you listen for it. He carried the burden of caring for others, always being the one left to clean up the mess and shovel the dirt. Would drill and grit everything and anything that needed fixed. That included every person he sacrificed his own needs for every single day. If you didnt know, He did not believe in Regrets, Or pinky promises, until i could show him i could keep them. not a day goes by that i dont suffer, but i am so Blessed to have had the time that i did, I try my best to hold the faith in every mistake. the roughest of roads, he would pave, so that others could walk safely. Thank you for loving me. In a way i never knew possible. so innocently sworn, to protect, like a brother rather then a relationship status. Thats what others never could understand. How a Man could Love a Women so FIERCE, Yet so innocent so gentle. he'd Never Taken me for granted, not once.not EVER. not any other man or women in his path would he surrender to the way he did for Me , And I also to Him. he knew what i couldnt offer and that innocence was ALWAYS cherished. PRIORITIZED. and granted. He Taught me that its true, there are men out there looking for more then just company to keep at night. He proved to me that Being safe, around such a large man, was possible. I was never vaulnerable and weak to him. More the Lioness to his Mane. and Honor to the bare bone of any other desire. He respected. And that gained him the respect he demanded without ever shouting. Firm in his decisions. no matter what they were he'd never turn back. never afraid to sink cause 'sometimes you need to just lay back, feel the air in your lungs, remember each moment is just that a moment. we float. if you stop kicking. nothing is eternal, no one is immortal. we come, we go, we live, we pass, The brief time i was gifted, with his grace and with the absolute biggest of hearts, Ill cherish Him and his memory until the day i perish. I pinky promise, to my favorite human, to live the life you paved me to create. {Time lost Is never Found, tomorrow is already here, and yesterday, was non ya damn buisness." } John TYLER Baroldi, Forever you will Party Hearty, Never Forget your roads snacks, And Never show up Under dressed. No matter the Place, with you, i was always safe. Never Will The Friendship we created, Ever be replaced by another, SOLE to its own Dimension of even existing. Once in a life time, Heart pounding, ears ringing, Heart racing, adventures. Ill Love you Tomorrow, and every day since. No regrets, No dollar sign can ever replace. No other man can Show me the same Faith. My lion. My savior. My knight, But rather then shine, Work isnt Work unless it includes dirt, To charcol covered armour. with a Pure Gold underlay, of the brightest and rarest of crystal rocks For inners. You are and will always be. my bestest of all Friends. Your hand to my shake, My Life for your last breath, ill never take for granted, Thank you for loving me, and being the person i needed in any and all situations. My Brother, My Pal, Never intimate But Never once loved any less. we shared a bed for years, and we all would sleep safetly. as we still do just Under the wing of their Gained angel, i keep going because i know he Will never really be gone, He is just gaining his perspective from above now, i pray that you watch over me, and your light still guides me day in and out, Not one single day, not even a night, have i not grieved this loss. But i am Blessed to have met such an extraordinarily simple and most beautiful of all humans. I love you tomorrow my friendliest of friends. I love you.
Danielle Turcotte (yelly ann),
April 25, 2024
